How to build confidence in yourself?

Today was a hard day. I know what next steps I must take, it’s just that to do it I must let go of my desire to control the outcome. I must leave the perfect bubble I’ve created for myself. And I mean, it is perfect. Every minute of my day is under my control. I dictate what happens and when. And because I live in near perfect solitude there is no-one to rain on my parade. It is unfathomably blissful to live inside the bubble.

Regrettably, I can’t stay here.

People say that you build confidence after the fact, that you must hurl yourself into doing the thing that you’re afraid of doing and after you’ll feel more confident, and that’s true, but why? Trust is at the heart of confidence. It’s because you saw yourself handling the thing you were afraid of doing that you managed to build trust in yourself. Unfortunately, it’s not that straightforward, unless you’ve lived a life free from significant trauma.

If you’re looking for better advice than “just do it” to improve your confidence, look for ways to build trust in yourself. Are you trusting yourself with your well-being? If you aren’t taking care of yourself, start there. Are you worthy of a friend’s trust? If not, improve; keep secrets, be thoughtful, mind their boundaries. Are you challenging your mind? Pick up a book and go down uncomfortable roads. Do all that and you’ll have built enough trust in yourself to take on more challenging avenues of growth.

The current driver of my confidence isn’t trust, it’s the fact that I recently learned that people fear me, feel intimidated by me, feel anxious around me, and actively avoid me to not have to deal with me. That’s absolutely wild to me. I never thought of myself as a potential perpetrator, but always as a potential victim. I’ve honestly never felt more relaxed in my life knowing that some people fear me.

I’m ready to leave the bubble.

If I don’t like what’s out there, I can recreate the bubble at will and feel blissful again.

That’s a comforting thought.

If I get through it I’ll be a changed man.

There’s literally no bad outcome here.


Created on August 24, 2021
Published on August 24, 2021