The air feels heavy with the thought of missing you.
I am without myself.
I don’t know how to breathe right any more.
I choke on the idea of never experiencing your presence again.
Where are you now?
I miss you, Julia.
Life has lost its shine.
Everything feels wrong and out of place without you in it.
I rage against what is in a futile attempt to restore balance to the world.
The chains that bind me to our earthly plane are starting to come loose.
I do not want to breathe in a world where I can’t feel close to you.
Your beauty left me breathless.
Your soul left me longing for eternity with you.
You are an essential element of the fabric of life.
The instant we clicked I knew you were the stuff of dreams.
I never knew what I was missing out on until I found myself connected with you.
Beautiful words found their way to paper without hesitation and without labour.
I jumped for joy every morning I got to breathe the same air as you.
And the privilege to call you my girl.
I never felt more confident in my life.
Life had given me a gift of unfathomable proportion.
To be disturbed by your endless wit.
To stumble whenever you would share yourself with me.
To be praised for loving you so well.
Until the day I failed to love you at a critical juncture.
The pond of life within my mind that I had cultivated to be quiet has yet to return to its previous state of stillness.
It feels permanently disturbed.
I miss you heaps.
How do I quiet the pond without you in my life, Julia?
You are not optional.
You are what makes me happy to be alive.
I promise to return to a state of strength.
But before I can put myself back together again.
I must first fall apart.